The Grace Tame affair

28 January 2022

It was my intention to leave poor Grace Tame[1] alone.  Literally countless column space and social posting has been devoted to Ms Tame’s recent encounter with Australia’s Prime Minister.   I accept that my contribution will merely add to the stockpile.

I tried chipping in my two cents’ worth on Twitter and found myself very much swimming against the tide of opinion, at least the tide of opinion in the section of Twitter into which I had been allocated, through the power of its algorithm’s interpretation of my posts and preferences.  Fortunately, as a social media fringe dweller, I did not find myself on the receiving end of the ‘Twitter pile on’ that those more famous experience when they dare to express an opinion that is unpopular.

Two things struck me.  First, how people’s opinions coalesced at the more extreme ends of the spectrum: Ms Tame was either something akin to a saint, and how dare people question her behaviour, or she was an immature spoilt brat who had shown bad manners and disrespect to the Prime Minister and his wife, and through them, to the Australian people.  

Those in the former camp argued several angles.  First, that the PM’s own behaviour towards women during his tenure, and his, and his government’s, responses to revelations about the treatment of women in Australia, meant he was not worthy of any respect, and indeed that the PM deserved disrespect.  Secondly, that any criticism of Ms Tame’s behaviour pandered to the view that women, particularly younger women, needed to show deference to ‘their elders’, or to men more generally.  Indeed, many heralded a new age where our young people had broken away from old school manners and polite diplomacy.  A third point made (one about which I was not aware) was that Ms Tame is autistic, and that her demeanour was merely a manifestation of her autism.

The critics variously argued that Ms Tame ought not to have attended if she felt such animus towards the PM, that she showed terrible manners or that she was making a gratuitous political statement, given that she had, very publicly, made clear her displeasure at the PM’s response and outlook on the treatment of women, both in politics and more generally.

While I understood the points being made on both sides, it seemed to me that many of them were proxies for the wider debate on the competency of the Prime Minister and its government.  Those who hated the PM (and it appears to be a club with a rapidly growing membership), were in the ‘pro-Grace’ camp, and the diehard PM lovers were ‘tut-tutting’ away at Ms Tame’s behaviour. 

I claim to have no political affiliation, but in today’s Australia, it’s hard not to have a strong view about our current PM.  I have no time for him: he’s been a poor Prime Minister, whose performance has been compounded by his regular lies and smugness.  However, I found myself disappointed by what occurred when Ms Tame visited the Prime Minister’s residence for the Australia Day function and said so.  It did not go down well in my sector of the Twittersphere.

To be clear, neither Grace Tame nor anyone else should be marked down for failing to show deference towards the Prime Minister.  Similarly, there is no requirement for any person, when posing for photo-ops with the Prime Minister, to feign enjoyment or warmth towards the PM, particularly, if you hold the man in contempt.  As someone who finds social occasions, where one must engage ‘polite small talk’ and be amongst strangers and/or those whose company you would not otherwise choose, I very much understand how Ms Tame may have felt under siege and overwhelmed.  Given the enormous contribution to social debate and awareness that Ms Tame has engendered during her tenure as Australian of the year, the criticism centred on her demeanour and apparent disengagement seemed, to me, to smack of pettiness and jealousy.

However, as I have reflected on it, my disappointment is actually for Ms Tame.  She has been a revelation, and a roaring success as Australian of the Year.  Articulate, feisty, dynamic, and charismatic, she has not only made how we treat and honour women in Australia an issue that all Australians must now address but has also become a rallying point for young women in Australia, and one hopes she has paved the way for young women to raise their voices in future political and social debate.  What I had hoped she would have is a kind of victory lap, where she could return to the place at which she was anointed Australian of the Year in triumph.  She could look the Prime Minister in the eye and, without having to open her mouth, say “I have achieved more in single year as Australian of the Year that you will achieved in your entire political career”.

That should have been her final statement, her legacy, as Australian of the Year.  Instead, that final act has fizzled into a rather fatuous debate about something a banal as her facial expression, and whether she should have smiled at the photo-op.  Ms Tame did not have to smile for the PM, but I cannot help but think that doing so on this occasion would have been her final ‘Fuck you’ to a man who clearly does not understand (or particularly respect) women.


[1] For those who have been living under a rock, Grace Tame was the 2021 Australian of the Year.  Look it up if you want more backstory.